Heavy to Light

I write today to tell you a story! Ahem, ahem....

I have been inspired by a book I recently read.  It is called More to Your Story, by the Zwicks.  I highly recommend it :) The Zwick's share experiences from their lives and what they learned from those experiences, and they encourage the readers to do the same.  I am taking that invitation and will share with you an experience I had recently that has changed me and strengthened me.

I had a great summer filled with work, a family vacation, various activities, and new friendships.  As summer began to close and my internship drew near, I began to feel more and more anxious about life.  I felt so unqualified for my upcoming internship and thought of every possible thing that could go wrong during it.  I would be teaching middle school - a new and unexpected path for the next year of my life.  As I began attending conferences and trainings to prepare for the school year, my anxiety grew worse, and pretty soon I couldn't sleep and then I couldn't eat.  The weekend before school was to start, my parents happened to be in town, so Friday night I said, "Hey! What are you doing tonight? Oh, babysitting the grandkids? Can I come over?" I did just that and it was much needed.  I expressed my concerns to my parents while sitting outside on the porch swing on this beautiful summer day.  At the moment, life didn't feel so beautiful or summery.  It seemed heavy and filled with fear- who wants that? Especially on a beautiful summer day!! This is Lexi we are talking about..

I didn't feel so Lexi at the moment.  I felt a fear inside of me I don't think I have ever felt.  I KNEW that the Lord had guided me to this internship through a series of obviously non-coincidental events.  I knew that everything about the internship seemed perfect.  I knew that I had experienced several reassurances that this was what I needed to do.  So, why the fear??

I have heard that right before worthy and righteous things, comes opposition. I was feeling that opposition pretty bad.  But, the help I needed came. God knows what we need and when we need it.  That evening on the porch, I needed my parents to talk with me for a few hours to work through the feelings I was having.  Through their logic, experience, and love, my fear subsided after a couple hours and I was able to feel lighter.  My dad gave me a Priesthood blessing of comfort that was very helpful.  Things looked bright again even though I was still concerned about my internship.

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Now, it's been almost two months since that evening, and I cannot explain how I have gotten here.  It has been one tender mercy after another helping me get guest speakers, create lesson plans, receive answers to my questions, and find joy in my students and the work.  I love my internship.  It is challenging and exciting.  My students are a joy.  The Lord has lifted and carried me these past couple months to do things I never thought I could do.  Each day, worries and fears still creep in, but through my experiences with the hand of the Lord these past couple months, I know that He can take care of things for us.

I am not the greatest story-teller or writer, but I do have experiences worth sharing.  And, I am grateful for what I learn from them.  From this experience, I have learned that God takes care of His children.  If He asks us to do it, He will make it possible.  Worry, doubt, and fear will come, but the Lord will help you through it- whether through a talk with parents or some other way.

We CAN trust Him.
We CAN do what HE asks. And, I believe we will be better because of it.

A Change of Scenery

Hawaii. Sunshine. Memories. Break from real life.

This has been my experience for the past few days.  It is beautiful and calm here.  Our windows and doors stay open day and night, and we read, play cards, rest, eat, and explore. 

It is nice to relax, to ponder, and to have a change of scenery.  

 Today we took a detour from the usual local church building to the Stake Center about forty minutes away after realizing it was Stake Conference.  We drove along the beautiful coastline for most of it and enjoyed the ride.  At church, we were uplifted by the speakers and the Spirit.  The Honolulu, HI Mission President and his wife spoke and we were able to meet them afterwards.    I love the missionary Spirit.  It reminds me again and again that this church is true!

I am grateful that even far away in Hawaii the gospel is the same.  While the world changes constantly, one thing is ever constant- the gospel! I know I can always rely on that because it comes from my Savior.

Happy Sabbath my friends! Aloha! :)

Windsurfers galore at one of the best places in the world, I hear.

Just sittin' on the beach!

...looking at this!

  

New adventures

Well, it's been a little while, but here I am again! And what is new??

Everything!!!

Being back in Provo has been so fun.  Being back in classes and work and surrounded by wonderful people is...wonderful! Not everyone feels a deep love for Provo, but I sure do.  I feel blessed to know wonderful people and to get to know more wonderful people all the time.  Along with all this, it has been San Diego weather in Provo for the past month so no complaints! Today while walking home I decided to sit on the grass and bask in the sun for a few minutes simply because I can.  I totally loved it.

So yes, everything is new, while at the same time being very similar to how things were before my mission.  It feels familiar yet different.  I am the same yet different from the person I was before.  Maybe that is why.  It is interesting to be back into life where I have much more to think about than I did on my mission.  I feel like I am re-learning how to balance school, work, relationships, spiritual growth, and physical health, etc. all at once.  While it is stressful though, it is also very good.  I am enjoying applying what I have learned in a real-life setting, if that makes sense.

As I have been struggling to balance things and not stress out too much about my future, the Lord has truly blessed me.  And I know He does this for all of us.   He gives us little tender mercies every day that remind us He is there.  As Nephi writes, "I...will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."

I am grateful for tender mercies and the gospel.  I am grateful that the gospel is true! As we are faithful and strive to keep the commandments, the Lord will continue to bless us.

Love always,
Lexi

Fun with friends...I love reunions!!

I love this girl with all my heart.  We were companions at the very beginning of my mission in Dillon, MT, and I never saw her again....until this last weekend! What a joy :D

At work, girls put up inspirational quotes that I get to read while I clean.  I liked this one.

Oh Cannon....how I missed you.

My sweet Grandma.  I get to see her and Gpa now because she lives in South Jordan.  Yay!

The temple is so close :)

Purpose

Tonight I just have a short blog post.  It's been a while.  I have had a lot running through my mind since, but what I want to write is just simple and sweet:  Life is FULL of distractions.  Big and small- but they are so there, and it can get exhausting.  It is hard to not get distracted! In the devotional tonight by Randall L. Ridd (Second Counselor in the General Young Men's Presidency), he talked about focusing on our purpose, striving for perfection, and aligning our will with God's will.  It is then that we experience real joy.  Interesting- quite the opposite of what the world says.

I am so grateful for leaders called of God to speak the truth.  I hope for the ability to focus more on my purpose and listen less to the world and more to the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

<3L